These Advice shared by A Father That Saved Us when I became a New Dad

"In my view I was merely in survival mode for the first year."

Ex- Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey expected to handle the demands of fatherhood.

But the truth quickly turned out to be "very different" to his expectations.

Life-threatening health issues around the birth resulted in his partner Louise admitted to hospital. All of a sudden he was thrust into acting as her main carer in addition to caring for their newborn son Leo.

"I handled each nighttime feed, every nappy change… each outing. The job of mother and father," Ryan shared.

Following eleven months he reached burnout. It was a conversation with his father, on a park bench, that made him realise he couldn't do it alone.

The straightforward phrases "You are not in a healthy space. You require some help. In what way can I support you?" opened the door for Ryan to express himself truthfully, seek support and start recovering.

His experience is commonplace, but seldom highlighted. While the public is now more accustomed to addressing the strain on moms and about PND, less is said about the struggles fathers encounter.

Asking for help is not weak to request support'

Ryan believes his challenges are linked to a broader failure to open up amongst men, who continue to internalise negative ideas of manhood.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just gets smashed and doesn't fall every time."

"It is not a display of being weak to ask for help. I was too slow to do that soon enough," he explains.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher specialising in mental health before and after childbirth, explains men frequently refuse to acknowledge they're finding things difficult.

They can think they are "not the right person to be seeking help" - particularly in front of a mum and baby - but she emphasises their mental well-being is just as important to the household.

Ryan's conversation with his dad gave him the chance to ask for a respite - spending a short trip overseas, outside of the domestic setting, to get a fresh outlook.

He realised he required a adjustment to consider his and his partner's feelings in addition to the logistical chores of caring for a new baby.

When he shared with Louise, he saw he'd overlooked "what she longed for" -physical connection and listening to her.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has reshaped how Ryan views fatherhood.

He's now composing Leo regular notes about his journey as a dad, which he hopes his son will see as he grows up.

Ryan hopes these will help his son to better grasp the expression of feelings and make sense of his decisions as a father.

The concept of "parenting yourself" is something artist Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

During his childhood Stephen was without consistent male parenting. Even with having an "wonderful" bond with his dad, long-standing emotional pain meant his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, affecting their bond.

Stephen says repressing emotions resulted in him make "bad choices" when he was younger to alter how he was feeling, seeking comfort in drink and drugs as a way out from the pain.

"You gravitate to substances that don't help," he explains. "They may briefly alter how you feel, but they will ultimately exacerbate the problem."

Tips for Managing as a First-Time Parent

• Share with someone - when you are swamped, confide in a friend, your other half or a professional about your state of mind. It can help to lighten the load and make you feel less alone.
• Maintain your passions - continue with the activities that helped you to feel like you before becoming a parent. It could be playing sport, seeing friends or a favourite hobby.
• Don't ignore the body - nutritious food, getting some exercise and when you can, sleep, all contribute in how your mental state is coping.
• Meet other parents in the same boat - hearing about their experiences, the difficult parts, along with the joys, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Know that requesting help does not mean you've failed - looking after yourself is the most effective way you can support your family.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen understandably found it hard to accept the passing, having been out of touch with him for a long time.

As a dad now, Stephen's determined not to "continue the chain" with his own son and instead provide the security and emotional guidance he missed out on.

When his son starts to have a meltdown, for example, they try "shaking the feelings out" together - processing the emotions constructively.

Each of Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men because they acknowledged their issues, changed how they express themselves, and learned to manage themselves for their sons.

"I have improved at… processing things and managing things," states Stephen.

"I wrote that in a message to Leo last week," Ryan says. "I expressed, on occasion I think my role is to guide and direct you what to do, but actually, it's a exchange. I'm learning an equal amount as you are on this path."